If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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