How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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