If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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