why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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