I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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