I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
