I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
