Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
