Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
