Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
