why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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