i just wanna soil my oats bro
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
