maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
