what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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