Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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