Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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