He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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