Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i barfeds in our rink
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
