her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
