He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
