Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
