allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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