can u get pink eye on your cock?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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