Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
