can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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