Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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