Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize