Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
