My pussy is not your playground.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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