So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
