Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
