First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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