Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
