Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I currently don't understand fingers.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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