Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
This couple is walking their pig around campus
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
