that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize