I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
