No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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