Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
