he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
