wanna go halves on a baby?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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