Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
