I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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