Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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