did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
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Vodka?
Forever.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
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We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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