the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
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Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
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I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with