It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit