The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.