i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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