he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
