Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize