I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
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