haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took my balls.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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