remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He felt like a one man threesome
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
