Im at strip club and am horny
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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