another moral hangover. fuck.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
