Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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