I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just saw a hot homeless man
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
