About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize