Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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