I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
