Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
