He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
