Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
