Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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