Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
