What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Randomize
