We're facebook friends in real life
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
