I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
