oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He? As in you personified your dick?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
