I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
