Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
